Parking

Dear Parking Police,

Its been a while on here, but I've still got things to say. Where I work, getting to work at 8:30, even 8:00 isn't early enough to park close enough to the building to have less than a 5 minute walk inside. I've come to grips with this, almost to the point that I don't really mind any more.

Across the street from my building there is a gigantic parking lot. Probably holds about 1000 cars when its all filled up. The people here have questionable tactics when it comes to snow closures, but thats another story. The story here is how they have decided to pave the parking lot. Understandable. What I don't get is that they have closed off about 60% of the parking lot. That to me seems like a crazy amount of space to take away. On any given day, about 70-80% of the spaces are taken up. So if my math is right, on average about 800 people are parking over there, only there are now only about 400 spaces for those people to park in.

I don't get it. Parking sucks here. Its even worse now. I don't have any suggestions, I only want to complain. I haven't been affected by the "can't find a place to park" issue yet. But it will come. I need to get our countertop delivered this week, and where usually I'd just come in a bit later, around 9:30/10, if I did that, I'd never find a place to park! Ugh!

Tractor Trailers

Why on God's green Earth are tractor trailer drivers allowed to drive like they do? On my way to Towson this morning I almost died 5 or 6 times by reckless tractor trailer drivers. I mean honestly, tractor trailers shouldn't be allowed on any road that is less than three lanes. Two of the 6 drivers that almost killed me this morning were just driving in the middle of two lanes. Two of the other drivers were weaving in and out of lanes at high speeds with no turn signal. And it wasn't like there weren't any other drivers on the road. This is during rush hour on 695. Is there any higher authority for truck drivers? Do they ever get in trouble? Think about it...have you ever seen a tractor trailer driver pulled over by a cop...ever??? I never have in my 26 wonderful years of life. Maybe it's time they start being held accountable for acting and drivign like maniacs.

Proper Makeup Use

Dear Teenage Girl (codename: Cave Eyes),

Not that I'm one to really comment on proper makeup useage, but here goes anyways. Recently while attending an Orioles game, my and friends were lucky enough to experience the game from behind a wall of senior high school students. I must say, this is a "special" experience in itself.

But getting more to the point here - there was one girl there in particular that sparked quite a conversation amongst me and my friends. This girl in particular didn't exactly have the best facial features as it was, and from what I could observe, she poorly choose to accent features that would have been better left forgotten. The most prominent of which was here eyes. I know people have the facial feature where their eyes look kidna sunken in, and as a woman I believe that there are certain kinds of makeup that you could use (i guess by kinds i mean colors) to make them look better.

Nope! Not this girl. She choose to put on dark blue whatever under and around here eyes, only helping to make them look more cavelike. Then on top of that she had what me and friends like to affectionately call a "rats nest" on her head. For those who are unaware, a rat's nest is a hair-do in which a woman takes her hair and either a. does nothing to it, no brushing, no nothing, so that it looks like a tangled mess; b. puts it into a ball like mess that looks like an absolute mess, i.e a rats nest. Our friendly cave eye girl also suffered from this poor fashion choice.

Signed,

Drew

Brakes!?

Dear America,

When you're driving down the road, and there happens to be a bit of traffic is it really necessary to use your brakes every chance you get? Its almost like you people enjoy pushing the other pedal as much as the first [gas that is].

I don't get it. You can acheive the same affect of slowing down just by NOT pressing the gas pedal. Try it out, it works wonders. Also, there is also this novel concept where we don't actually have to drive 3 inches from one another, and therefore, we can use the concept of "no gas" as a breaking mechanism. Yet at least here in Baltimore, leaving more than 3 inches between you and the car in front of you seems to be a sign of weakness, and an open invitation for you to be cut off. I'll save that letter for another day. In the meantime, lets all learn a lesson here. No gas pedal can very often equal proper use of the brake pedal.

Signed,

Drew

Beltway Traffic

Dear American Drivers,

If you like to drive just that little bit slower so you can see what happened in an accident, then I hope you are soon in one. Why do you feel compelled to drive extra slow trying to see past the police cars, firetrucks, ambulances and random other emergency vehicles, hoping to get a glipse of the meyhem. I hope you are hurt. Badly. And soon.

Tonight, coming home from Towson around the west side of the beltway there was an accident at Exit 18. It took me 40 minutes to go 2 miles. 2 MILES! This is ridiculous. I saw a sign that said "2 Right Lanes Closed ahead, Accident". So i stayed in the far left lane (like usual). 40 minutes, 2 miles later, No lanes are closed, they have managed to move the accident to the shoulder. Way to go, doing your job. So the reason for the slowdown? Retarded people.

And then there are the people that felt compelled to be the in the lane that I was in. There was nothing wrong with their lane. They were just to stupid, ignorant and retarded to know that. So what do they do? They finagle there way into my lane, just so that I can go that much slower. They say football is a game of inches, well I'd like to say that driving through an accident is a game of inches. I don't want anyone in front of me. If you're trying to get over, and there's some jerk in a mustang or corolla refusing to let you in, its probably me. My question to you - whats so wrong with the space BEHIND ME?

If you are one of the people. I hate you. It is retarded people like this that make driving in America a horrible thing to do. I understand accidents, its wet, raining, dark. I understand. But to drive by at 10mph just so you can look. Just drive off a cliff.

Signed,

Drew

That Person!

Dear One Person in Every College Class,

Why must you be so annoying and stupid? Why do you have to be the only one that wants to participate in class discussions making us stay later than we really need to? Why must you also be the dumbest person in the entire class?

I despise all your unnecessary questions that any common person could answer on their own. I hate the fact that the professor even entertains your existence and answers your lame questions. Then you have the nerve to argue with the professor when you know he's never going to agree with you. You waste my time and I loathe you. If you're not intelligent enough to be in college, then please drop out. For my sake!

Passionately,

Jenn

Are you a bandwaggoner?

Dear Baltimoreans,

That's right baby! The Ravens are now 4-0! Ravens fans, it's time to celebrate!

There's just one problem...

It's about this time that Ravens bandwaggoners are starting to come out of the closet. I hate badwaggoners! People that can't stand the Ravens or have no clue how football works instantly decide that they are the 12th man for the Ravens. How is this possible?

It's especially the women that bother me. They're suddenly interested in football cause that's what all the guys are talking about and they're trying to fit in. Then, they talk to me and try to outlast my Ravens knowledge like they're a bigger fan than I am. Guess what girls!!!...you don't know more than me and you probably never will.

Just embrace the home team and cheer for them no matter what! Don't suddenly decide you a Ravens fan and buy up all the tickets so real Ravens fans can't go to the games and cheer for their team. Don't be wishywashy fans...PLEASE!!!

Signed,

Diehard Ravens Fan

Stupid Baltimore Sun

Dear Baltimore Sun,

You suck. How freakin hard is it to deliver my paper. I have called your crappy offices at least 4 times in the last 2 months because of retarded billing. You contantly send me bills for differeing amounts of money, and then when I call you say "oh...well...we can give you this offer, and the rate will be ..." and then they promise ANOTHER bill. Well...Baltimore Sun. I will call you yet again, and get agrivated. There had better be a good excuse as to why I didn't get my paper. You suck.

Drew