Dear America

Parking

2009-05-12T10:18:00.003-04:00

Dear Parking Police,

Its been a while on here, but I've still got things to say. Where I work, getting to work at 8:30, even 8:00 isn't early enough to park close enough to the building to have less than a 5 minute walk inside. I've come to grips with this, almost to the point that I don't really mind any more.

Across the street from my building there is a gigantic parking lot. Probably holds about 1000 cars when its all filled up. The people here have questionable tactics when it comes to snow closures, but thats another story. The story here is how they have decided to pave the parking lot. Understandable. What I don't get is that they have closed off about 60% of the parking lot. That to me seems like a crazy amount of space to take away. On any given day, about 70-80% of the spaces are taken up. So if my math is right, on average about 800 people are parking over there, only there are now only about 400 spaces for those people to park in.

I don't get it. Parking sucks here. Its even worse now. I don't have any suggestions, I only want to complain. I haven't been affected by the "can't find a place to park" issue yet. But it will come. I need to get our countertop delivered this week, and where usually I'd just come in a bit later, around 9:30/10, if I did that, I'd never find a place to park! Ugh!

Tractor Trailers

2008-07-10T11:58:00.002-04:00

Why on God's green Earth are tractor trailer drivers allowed to drive like they do? On my way to Towson this morning I almost died 5 or 6 times by reckless tractor trailer drivers. I mean honestly, tractor trailers shouldn't be allowed on any road that is less than three lanes. Two of the 6 drivers that almost killed me this morning were just driving in the middle of two lanes. Two of the other drivers were weaving in and out of lanes at high speeds with no turn signal. And it wasn't like there weren't any other drivers on the road. This is during rush hour on 695. Is there any higher authority for truck drivers? Do they ever get in trouble? Think about it...have you ever seen a tractor trailer driver pulled over by a cop...ever??? I never have in my 26 wonderful years of life. Maybe it's time they start being held accountable for acting and drivign like maniacs.

Proper Makeup Use

2007-06-13T16:58:00.000-04:00

Dear Teenage Girl (codename: Cave Eyes),

Not that I'm one to really comment on proper makeup useage, but here goes anyways. Recently while attending an Orioles game, my and friends were lucky enough to experience the game from behind a wall of senior high school students. I must say, this is a "special" experience in itself.

But getting more to the point here - there was one girl there in particular that sparked quite a conversation amongst me and my friends. This girl in particular didn't exactly have the best facial features as it was, and from what I could observe, she poorly choose to accent features that would have been better left forgotten. The most prominent of which was here eyes. I know people have the facial feature where their eyes look kidna sunken in, and as a woman I believe that there are certain kinds of makeup that you could use (i guess by kinds i mean colors) to make them look better.

Nope! Not this girl. She choose to put on dark blue whatever under and around here eyes, only helping to make them look more cavelike. Then on top of that she had what me and friends like to affectionately call a "rats nest" on her head. For those who are unaware, a rat's nest is a hair-do in which a woman takes her hair and either a. does nothing to it, no brushing, no nothing, so that it looks like a tangled mess; b. puts it into a ball like mess that looks like an absolute mess, i.e a rats nest. Our friendly cave eye girl also suffered from this poor fashion choice.

Signed,

Drew

Brakes!?

2007-04-03T13:15:00.000-04:00

Dear America,

When you're driving down the road, and there happens to be a bit of traffic is it really necessary to use your brakes every chance you get? Its almost like you people enjoy pushing the other pedal as much as the first [gas that is].

I don't get it. You can acheive the same affect of slowing down just by NOT pressing the gas pedal. Try it out, it works wonders. Also, there is also this novel concept where we don't actually have to drive 3 inches from one another, and therefore, we can use the concept of "no gas" as a breaking mechanism. Yet at least here in Baltimore, leaving more than 3 inches between you and the car in front of you seems to be a sign of weakness, and an open invitation for you to be cut off. I'll save that letter for another day. In the meantime, lets all learn a lesson here. No gas pedal can very often equal proper use of the brake pedal.

Signed,

Drew

Beltway Traffic

2006-10-17T19:40:00.000-04:00

Dear American Drivers,

If you like to drive just that little bit slower so you can see what happened in an accident, then I hope you are soon in one. Why do you feel compelled to drive extra slow trying to see past the police cars, firetrucks, ambulances and random other emergency vehicles, hoping to get a glipse of the meyhem. I hope you are hurt. Badly. And soon.

Tonight, coming home from Towson around the west side of the beltway there was an accident at Exit 18. It took me 40 minutes to go 2 miles. 2 MILES! This is ridiculous. I saw a sign that said "2 Right Lanes Closed ahead, Accident". So i stayed in the far left lane (like usual). 40 minutes, 2 miles later, No lanes are closed, they have managed to move the accident to the shoulder. Way to go, doing your job. So the reason for the slowdown? Retarded people.

And then there are the people that felt compelled to be the in the lane that I was in. There was nothing wrong with their lane. They were just to stupid, ignorant and retarded to know that. So what do they do? They finagle there way into my lane, just so that I can go that much slower. They say football is a game of inches, well I'd like to say that driving through an accident is a game of inches. I don't want anyone in front of me. If you're trying to get over, and there's some jerk in a mustang or corolla refusing to let you in, its probably me. My question to you - whats so wrong with the space BEHIND ME?

If you are one of the people. I hate you. It is retarded people like this that make driving in America a horrible thing to do. I understand accidents, its wet, raining, dark. I understand. But to drive by at 10mph just so you can look. Just drive off a cliff.

Signed,

Drew

That Person!

2006-10-04T22:10:00.000-04:00

Dear One Person in Every College Class,

Why must you be so annoying and stupid? Why do you have to be the only one that wants to participate in class discussions making us stay later than we really need to? Why must you also be the dumbest person in the entire class?

I despise all your unnecessary questions that any common person could answer on their own. I hate the fact that the professor even entertains your existence and answers your lame questions. Then you have the nerve to argue with the professor when you know he's never going to agree with you. You waste my time and I loathe you. If you're not intelligent enough to be in college, then please drop out. For my sake!

Passionately,

Jenn

Are you a bandwaggoner?

2006-10-02T20:03:00.000-04:00

Dear Baltimoreans,

That's right baby! The Ravens are now 4-0! Ravens fans, it's time to celebrate!

There's just one problem...

It's about this time that Ravens bandwaggoners are starting to come out of the closet. I hate badwaggoners! People that can't stand the Ravens or have no clue how football works instantly decide that they are the 12th man for the Ravens. How is this possible?

It's especially the women that bother me. They're suddenly interested in football cause that's what all the guys are talking about and they're trying to fit in. Then, they talk to me and try to outlast my Ravens knowledge like they're a bigger fan than I am. Guess what girls!!!...you don't know more than me and you probably never will.

Just embrace the home team and cheer for them no matter what! Don't suddenly decide you a Ravens fan and buy up all the tickets so real Ravens fans can't go to the games and cheer for their team. Don't be wishywashy fans...PLEASE!!!

Signed,

Diehard Ravens Fan

Stupid Baltimore Sun

2006-10-02T11:24:00.000-04:00

Dear Baltimore Sun,

You suck. How freakin hard is it to deliver my paper. I have called your crappy offices at least 4 times in the last 2 months because of retarded billing. You contantly send me bills for differeing amounts of money, and then when I call you say "oh...well...we can give you this offer, and the rate will be ..." and then they promise ANOTHER bill. Well...Baltimore Sun. I will call you yet again, and get agrivated. There had better be a good excuse as to why I didn't get my paper. You suck.

Drew

CBS - Crappy Broadcast Station

2006-09-10T14:05:00.000-04:00

Dear CBS,

You suck. Your High Defintion NFL broadcasts are pathetic. Each week I turn on the TV to watch the Ravens games which are SO UNFORTUNATLEY carried by your network. ALL the games that are on FOX are carried in High Definition. Only select games on your network are. That is pathetic. High Definition has been popular for at least 3 years now, and yet week after week you dissapoint me and millions of other football fans with your horrible broadcast.

Signed,

Football Fans

Greedy Corporation

2006-09-01T11:32:00.000-04:00

Dear DCI,

I have been a very avid fan of DCI for the last 10 years and likewise i purchase the audio CD's on a regular basis. Earlier this season when I found the DCI Season pass I was very excited to see that you had the top 12 corps from each year back to '72 available for download.

Unfortulately, i was not as happy to see that for this years CD production, you will only be offering the top 12 corps on CD and the rest will be available for purchase online. I have a few problems with this. First - The price is the same as it was for the 2005 CD's where I got 24 performances, yet now I will only receive the top 12. I find this absolutely ridiculous. How is it acceptable for you to sell half of the product for the same price?

In addition to this, i recently purchased the last couple of seasons on CD. I was unable to purchase 2004 because they were not available. I called this past Friday afternoon and spoke to a salesperson, who told me that the stock of 2004 CD's were gone, and that no more were going to be printed. The salesperson told me that I could purchase the 2004 tracks online.

Now my problem with that is that they must be purchased for either $2.99 a track, or $1.99 after a $40.00 membership fee. Not to mention the fact that only the top 12 corps are available for download, as oposed to the top 21. So for me to purchase the top 12 corps at $2.99 each, that would be $36.00. if i first paid $40 for the membership then $1.99 per track would still be $24.00, which is $4.00 more than they cost when they were orginially released.

Why is this? Is DCI that greedy for money that you feel the need to get as much money out of DCI fans as you can?

My first suggestion is tha if you are no longer going to offer the CDs, then you should offer a package for download that is the same price. For example, the 12 performances from 2004 would be $15.00 (the price for any year not 2006). Also, maybe when someone purchases the $20.00 CD's for 2006, they would receive a link, or certificate for download of the rest of the 2006 tracks, since they have already paid the money that they paid in the past.

I hope that someone will take these suggestions and do something with them. The idea of saving $1 on each song purchased if I join the $40 membership isn't much of a savings. For a comparison, if I use iTunes, which i have, I can purchase a single song for .99 cents, or in your case $2.99. Or i can purchase an entire CD for a lower price than .99 a peice, they offer an album rate. Something I think you all should strongly consider.

I greatly anticipate hearing from you as well as hearing about what might be done to improve your products.

Thank You,

Drew Harrah

Response:

Thank you for your interest in Drum Corps International merchandise. The 2005 CDs were $39 when they were originally released and were not discounted to $20 until June of 2006. We believe the $19 price for the Finalists CD that was available almost immediately after the competition is a great value to both the long-time collector and the more casual fan that might not purchase a $39 CD set.

Your feedback is appreciated and we are always striving to provide the best possible quality and value to our customers to ultimately provide revenue and resources to our member corps.

Thank you for continuing to support Drum Corps International.

Signed,

DCI

Lost for Words...Quite the Contrary...

2006-08-28T18:41:00.000-04:00

Dear T.O.,

There are so many things I could say to you right now. I think I could probably write an entire book about how I feel about you. Instead, I'll choose to say this...

Stop trying to be a superstar, and just be a superstar.

Respectfully submitted,

Jenn

Snakes on a Plane!

2006-08-22T21:03:00.000-04:00

Dear America,

Are you kidding me?!?!? I mean honestly, freakin' Snakes On a Plane. Who on earth would make a motion picture about snakes on an airplane? I mean, it's not even a feasible idea. And then, someone had the brilliant idea to put Samuel L. Jackson in the movie. Fools will go and waste money on the movie just because he's in it. America, please stop and think how terrible this movie will be before you head to the theater! Stop making commercials hyping up the movie and talking about how excited you are to see it and that you won't be happy until you've seen Snakes On a Plane. C'mon...Snakes On a Plane?!?!

Sincerely,

A Normal Person

Shawn, Shaun, Sean or Shaun???

2006-08-20T21:22:00.000-04:00

Dear Shaun Alexander,

I hate to burst your bubble, but you are NOT better than every other American on the face of this Earth. Stop whining about your job. I mean come on! You get to play football for your career. Just because Clinton Portis got hurt in preseason, it doesn't give you a free pass to complain about preseason and try and convince America that you shouldn't have to play until the regular season. It's football! If you don't practice football with your team, how on earth are you going to win??? Also, how much do you get paid??? If I'm correct, it's millions! MILLIONS of dollars! Stop whining and play some football. Unless of course, you'd rather give up your luxurious lifestyle and trade places with me...I didn't think so!

Sincerely,

Angered Football Fan

Capri's

2006-08-19T11:47:00.000-04:00

Dear Men,

Capri pants are for women. Even more so, the style of taking regular pants and rolling them up to look like capri's even more a women fashion. Take note.

Signed,

Orioles Baseball Fans

Bigger Shorts

2006-08-17T15:21:00.000-04:00

Dear Teenage Girls,

Buy some longer shorts. You shouldn't be buying shorts that force you to pull them out of your crotch-butt-crotch approximately every 30 seconds. Just buy longer ones!

Signed,

Other Hair Cuttery Customers

Got Boogers?

2006-08-15T20:49:00.000-04:00

Dear Lady,

Neither you or your car are invisible during your morning commute. When you have your arm elbow deep up your nose, people CAN see you.

Signed,

Other Morning Commuters.

Deli Workers

2006-08-14T12:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Shoppers (Food Wharehouse),

Please hire some competent deli workers to work on the weekends. I'm getting really tired of everytime I come into the store and go to get my deli meats there is some bufoon working behind the counter. And if they aren't stupid, then I get someone who seems as though they would rather be dead then working there. They are so disgrunteled i can't wait to be done at the deli.

Signed,

Food Shoppers

Pennsylvania Sucks

2006-08-13T12:31:00.000-04:00

Dear Pennsylvania,

You suck. Jenn and I only drove about 350 of our 1220 miles through you, but I can say without a doubt that you suck.

Your roads are the worst we travled on in 4 states, and your drivers just seem to be retarded. How can you have all those tolls for your roads yet still constantly be "Under Construction" and in horrible disarray?

Also, do you think that you could figure out how to create an interstate interchange that doesn't have me going 5 miles out of my way just so that i can bypass 50 different gas stations and other crappy places that you somehow feels i need to visit.

Signed,

Drew and Jenn

Hillbilly Sunday

2006-08-13T12:17:00.000-04:00

Dear Guy Who Lives In the House Across the Street,

Stop blasting your stupid country music at 10:00 in the morning on a Sunday! Nobody wants to HEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Jenn